You know that scene in Friends when Monica comforts Rachel saying, “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it!.”
I felt that! That right there is the truth. 🙌
Remember when we were young and naïve, and all we ever wanted was to live on our own without curfews and house rules?! Well, moving out and living by yourself will grant you those liberties BUT a whole bunch of responsibilities tag along with them!
The reality check can be tough! You’re sleep deprived, hungry and mostly confused because you have so much to do! And to top it off, you need to work really hard to get to anyplace worth going. 😩
But like Monica says, it’s not all that bad! You hold the reigns to your life now and it can be anything and everything that you want it to be! Life is not just about surviving, it’s about thriving and living your best damn life!
The only way to thrive in life is to focus and do the work to become the best version of yourself. They won’t tell ya but this is REAL self care.
Self care doesn’t only mean scented candles or manicures. REAL self care is CHOOSING to do the right thing for yourself for the long haul. Keep reading to get the best self care tips to build your wholesome life!
1. Do what makes you happy
Remember those crazy childhood/teenage dreams that you had? Hold on to them! Maybe you put it away because you were too busy for it, but here’s the thing – you will always be busy. When you were young and did not have the burden of finances or a career. And yet those hobbies and dreams gave you a taste of true happiness.
For the longest time, I put away my hobbies because I felt I was not good enough. But this quote, “You don’t have to be an artist to paint”, resonated with me. I enjoyed this, I can continue learning and enjoying and unwinding with this.
It really sucks to put financial pressure on your hobbies, especially when you are just budding. So pursue your hobbies for the love of it, learn and get better at it. And if you want to pursue it as a job, then you will have the talent to boost your inner confidence to do so!
2. Setting goals
The first step to living your dream life is to have a dream. Think of all the dreams that you have ever wanted to achieve. Visualize how you aspire to live.
Now work on turning these ideas and this vision into definite goals that can be broken down into a step-by-step action plan. I don’t mean drawing up a detailed 5-year plan, but rather setting goals and deadlines to learn something new and take a step toward your dream.
Maybe you want to go to law school, move to your favorite city, take a gap year to travel or change you career. Break down your wonderful, lofty aspirations into doable tasks i.e. financial planning and saving to start your business, researching alternate career paths, taking classes etc.
I am a big planner! But even if you prefer to take life as it comes, it’s always a good idea to reflect on your idea of a wholesome, dream life and set your concrete personal goals!
3. Getting on your feet
Becoming independent has many facets to it.
Supporting yourself financially is one of the most important goals to become independent. Achieving this feat will give you the freedom that you need to pursue your goals and live on your own terms.
One of the best self care tips is to stop ignoring your finances. Just being aware of your bank balance and paying your bills on time are not enough. It is important to become financially literate and learn about the best ways to budget, invest and grow your savings.
That’s why the MONEY section of Wholesome Goals focuses on breaking down big money matters into tidbits of information. You can learn how to save, budget and become financially independent. There are several tools and free printables for you! 😃
Even if you are not working yet or if you are taking a break from working, it is still important to get your finances in order and make a plan to become financially independent.
4. Choose your support system
Your support system is one of your biggest and most influential external factor which determines the quality of your life. They are your tribe.
Evaluate your relationships with people you spend the most time with and the power that you give to these relationships. Do you have a healthy, supportive relationship where you both help each other to become the best versions of yourselves? Or are they mostly friendships of convenience with a lot of small talk and gossip?
It’s great to have a diverse circle of friends but remember to choose your support system wisely. Invest your time and efforts in spending time with friends, family and people that matter, even if it is long distance.
5. Becoming emotionally independent
This is another game changer!
I often find myself complaining about minor inconveniences to my closest friends and family! While it is important to lean on your support system and get the help that you need, it is MUCH more important to learn how to solve your own issues.
Take a first pass at your problems (whatever they may be), especially when making a decision. Don’t reach for your phone immediately. You may not always have your closest people right next to you when you need them.
Find ways to clear your mind and then think from a fresh perspective. I have found journaling to be extremely useful for this! Putting down all my worries on paper helps me clear my head and it gives me the head space to find solutions!
Build emotional independence like a muscle. Learn to fall on yourself for support and take the reigns. Remember, your friends and family are also investing their time and energy in your issues when you talk to them – so make it worth their time.
6. Beating procrastination
Have you found yourself watching Netflix to “take a break” but instead, you end up worrying about your to-do list and continue watching the movie anxiously?! That’s so me. 😆
Procrastination often stems from having an unachievable to-do list which makes you want to give up! Or if there is too much stress associated with a task, tempting us to focus our attention on something else!
This is where your self-discipline has to kick in! Take a step back to assess why you are feeling this way. Maybe you need to set smaller achievable goals instead.
Remind yourself about the happiness and satisfaction you will get when you cross the task off your list! Taking a break AFTER you finish a task is so much more rewarding. It helps you to be fully present, without any stress eating your mind.
7. Self discipline
Whether you want to learn a new language, save money to travel or have a toned body, you need self-discipline! The best perk about living by yourself is that there are no house rules set by your parents anymore. But the irony is that, to achieve any goal in your life you have to set these rules and deadlines for yourself! You are the bad cop now! Haha!
Make an achievable schedule to ensure that you are consistently working toward your goals. Building this self-discipline is a superpower, it will help you achieve anything that you set your mind to!
8. Physical health
Visiting the doctor can be a chore. Trust me, I know! I put off going for my routine checkups for 2 years!
A couple of years back, I had a back injury which really scared me. I was worried that I would not get to experience fun things anymore! That’s when I learnt the value of my body.
Our body is how we get to experience life so we need take the best care of it! It’s better to be aware of your health conditions than to ignore it. If you’ve been putting off your health issues, go visit a doctor and get that checkup! (And definitely don’t check WebMD, because it classifies everything to be a cancer symptom!)
9. Affirmations
Having faith in yourself and being kind to yourself is crucial to make anything happen!
Creating and repeating your own affirmations will take you places! It allows you to manifest and live your wholesome life! Don’t rely only on external validation or support from your loved ones, become your own cheerleader. That’s when you become invincible!
10. Cooking
Cooking healthy, edible dishes (not just maruchan and eggs!) is the most basic survival skill that we ALL need. Cooking your own food and eating healthy gives you a satisfaction that is unmatched.
When I moved out, learning how to cook was my biggest challenge. It felt like a big chore because it took too long, I didn’t know many easy recipes that were yummy and I was tired of repeating the same dishes multiple times a week!
That’s when Dhruv & Meg stepped in and shared their quick and delicious recipes with me. They use basic ingredients and the food is much better than takeout! It helped me eat healthier, save money and MOST importantly, their recipes made cooking enjoyable and fun for me!
Cooking is my way of practicing self care now. It helps me unwind and I have a delicious meal at the end of it! ❤️
Browse through the FOOD section of our blog and find the next recipe that you will try! It will be delicious and fulfilling, I promise!
11. Me time
Me-time is holy time for me! I cannot do away with it. Although I am an extrovert, I recharge when I am by myself. Having alone time allows me to unwind without having the burden of maintaining a conversation.
No matter how busy your days are, make yourself a priority and tend to your self care.
It’s important to enjoy your own company without feeling lonely! You are 100% yourself only in your own company. Take this time to give yourself a breather, reflect, unwind or do whatever you enjoy!
Lastly,
Living in the real world can be an uphill climb! Especially in your 20s, when everything seems to evolve rapidly! Hold on to this survival guide, live life on your own terms and make the best out of this dramatic era of your life!
Related Post: 12 Effective Ways to Relieve Stress That Actually Work!